Thoughts Aboard Thinking

This is a tribute to all the mothers on Mother’s Day (May 11, 2008), particularly first-time moms out there. Though this article wasn’t able to publish on my blog on-time, bear in mind that everyday is and should be a Mother’s day!

I’m now at work trying to browse emails that I have in my inbox (since I’ve got no load at the moment). Yes, it was mother’s day (last Sunday). And all the emails I’ve got so far, practically all articles on the net and even greetings on my (friendster) account, pertain to motherhood- on me (as a mother). I was moved, moved to write this piece.

When I was still expecting my son Roen, I spent most of my time (for the first time) reading and reading (since I was then out-of-work) articles and magazines about motherhood and pregnancy. Neither did I imagine myself to becoming such very interested in reading articles on such as I was too preoccupied on being a “dalaga”- on being single (and on going-outs, i.e. with my then-boyfriend, Jigs, now my husband). Not until expecting.

By reading hundreds and hundreds of those articles (exaggeratedly), I was so immersed on anticipating my baby’s - my very first baby’s - delivery. On grand thoughts like “Look likes?’, ‘Skin fair like daddy’s?’ or ‘Eyes brown like daddy’s?, “Weight normal?”, etc and etc… till on weird thoughts like, “Birth defects?”, “Birth illnesses?”, or whatsever (na wag naman sana because I slipped once that I became paranoid if it affected the baby inside).

I was so really eager, I mean, we (together with  Jigs) were so very thrilled that I undertook ultrasound four times consecutive.

Then the time of labor and delivery came. I could vividly remember that afternoon, really.

At first I thought  I could surpass the pain of labor that esay. “Is this ‘it’ na?” - a minor dysmenorrhea-like pain? Lang?! Chicken!. But hey, “I’m really on-labor!” (And Akala ko madali). That dysmennorhea-like pain, that was only the “onset” of labor pala. The ‘real’ labor came later of that afternoon.

As a first time mom, I never thought but those moments were the most painful moments that I was into. Plus the fact that neither Jigs nor mom was there at that moment to physically attend on me (I was in the province at that time, Jigs was in Manila and my mom works abroad) made it more painful on me, emotionally. I was really into severe pain; so severe that I even tried to scratch my nails on the furniture inside the hospital room; and so painful that I even convinced and argued my doctor to have me undergo C-section na  lang (which she refused to dahil daw I can deliver the baby normally).

And alas, when I finally gave birth, all the pains and the sacrifices I was into have gone in an instant. ‘Felt like my old self has transformed into a new one. The adage:“Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby… but somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother,‘normal’ is history” suits what and how I felt. Yes, the saying is definitely right.

As a new mother, ‘life, my life, will never be the same again’. Or aptly, ‘…has never been the same again’. I have a son now. And I won’t be and it won’t be normal anymore. Everything will be changed. But this is a change (that is) so sweet, so meaningful. And I’m liking every bit of it.

After the delivery, all I was able to do was to look minutely at my son in awe. And at those times, in between my child’s innocent stares and cries, I know he was trying to impart me messages (which I’ve got and read from a pamphlet my sister-nurse once gave me during my mid-pregnancy) - that he’s trying to say at that very moment we’ve finally come face-to-face:

 Dear Mommy,

 After 9 months, I finally get to see my mommy. You are so beautiful and like what the nurses said, my eyes are exactly like yours. You may not know it but I have felt so loved by you and by daddy- from the first time you saw me in the ultrasound machine, through the times I would kick in your tummy; to the first time you saw me cry as I came out of your womb.

 I was crying because you looked like in so much pain but the second time you saw me, your eyes lit up and I truly felt your joy and excitement in bringing me to this world. Some mommies say that this happens everyday. They say that no matter how tired they are during the day, their babies always make their tiredness and stress go away. Let me do this for you. Let me take away your stress with my smiles and giggles. It’s a small task to give in return for all that you will do for me, especially these first years of my life.

It may be difficult at first to take care of me all day and all night but with each passing day that we spend with each other, I will be as excited as you are to learn new things, to explore, to experience and to enjoy.

But mommy, remember that you are not alone in all this. You have daddy who loves you and me and whom I also owe my life; you have family and you have the wonderful nurses and doctors who helped bring me to this world. I will always be grateful for you carrying me for 9 months, bearing the pain of my birth and promising to take care of me and love me forever.

 

Your new baby,

Roen

 Pardon me. As I need to finish this writing, I couldn’t help notice but I now could hardly see…

I just watched the 2006 documentary film, “An Inconvenient Truth,” the other night with my husband, Jigs. (Though it may seem late for me to share my views about the film as the film was shown a year and a half ago, I think it is still indispensable for me to have it shared. (After all, it’s better late to share than never at all).

Though the film has received some negative reaction from critics, less-embraced by some political leaders as a matter-of-fact necessity, and may discussed slightly on long-term Global Temperature (which may vouch for its relationship with Global Warming as studies made by some climatologists as Harris & Mann), it draws positive upshots to the majority. Many parts of the world believed. So do I.

In my personal view, the documentary film offers many insights (Actually, the film presented many facts, theories and samples to support its claim. It also offers analyses of broader schemes than what I had actually grasp) as follows:

1) that Global Warming is real and its consequences are what we are actually experiencing today;

2) that Global Warming is merely NOT of a political issue but rather of a moral one - the biggest moral challenge that ever faces the global civilization;

3) that Global Warming is a directional relationship between carbon dioxide and temperature (that is, an increase in carbon dioxide paves way to a rise in temperature. (Those who refute contends that it is the other way round); and

4) that Global warming is, therefore, immensely human-caused (by the way we omit greenhouse gases and carbon dioxide in the environment).

I am not an environmentalist per se. Neither am I a person of “reuse, reduce, recycle” scheme. No. Not firmly. Not religiously. But this testament is my simple way of concurring with Al Gore’s persuasive disposition about what will possibly be happening in the next few, if not several, years.

Al Gore is very hopeful that in the coming days, if not today, each of us may learn to see that our environment is in deep danger of Global Warming and that we can’t afford to just sit comfortably in our couch as we watch our planet earth devoured by irrevocable, drastic changes.

Do extend to get the message across. We can do something, even little ones (The film suggested some of them in its billing credits) to help save our home. Earth is our very home.

I will do my part. You might as well do yours.